(no subject)

[kolkhozi]

My mother is dead.

At first I was going to just leave that post there but it doesn't feel like enough somehow. This isn't a pity plea or anything like that. It's just... I think I need to say it, to see it in writing, or it won't be real.

The worst part is, yeah, I'm crying, but I still find my thoughts drifting to the stupidest shit and it's like... do I really care enough? Or have I detached myself from reality too much?

She was a wonderful, smart, witty, kind, woman. She and I didn't always get along on everything but more often than not we could just talk and communicate and bond. I'd hear about people fighting with their parents and look at mom and just smile. She would listen to my stupid rants on anime and joke around with me about them and she helped teach me about things and she was my mom.

And now she's dead.

I keep expecting her to call me with "Hah! Just kidding!" but she won't be.

my mom is dead and i want to go home

Comments

[massteria.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Aisu. I know we don't know each other well, but words can't describe how horrible I feel at this news. I'm so so sorry. Like everyone else, I wish I knew what to say. I've got the same AIM name as LJ, if you need anything at all. I was just thinking about you, wondering why you were so quiet, and then I read this. I'm sorry.

[massteria.livejournal.com]

I also wanted to say: I recently had a good friend die also, and my mind did the same thing -- drifted to such weird, inane things even when I was sitting there bawling. I don't know why. Maybe it is the brain trying to detach. Either way, it's not just you.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

The quiet was more "whoops I forgot to come to chat" until about five hours ago, hahaha.

Thank you for the support, and I'm glad I'm not alone in detaching.