(no subject)

[kolkhozi]

My mother is dead.

At first I was going to just leave that post there but it doesn't feel like enough somehow. This isn't a pity plea or anything like that. It's just... I think I need to say it, to see it in writing, or it won't be real.

The worst part is, yeah, I'm crying, but I still find my thoughts drifting to the stupidest shit and it's like... do I really care enough? Or have I detached myself from reality too much?

She was a wonderful, smart, witty, kind, woman. She and I didn't always get along on everything but more often than not we could just talk and communicate and bond. I'd hear about people fighting with their parents and look at mom and just smile. She would listen to my stupid rants on anime and joke around with me about them and she helped teach me about things and she was my mom.

And now she's dead.

I keep expecting her to call me with "Hah! Just kidding!" but she won't be.

my mom is dead and i want to go home

Comments

[psi-yamaneko.livejournal.com]

...I'm so sorry. It sounds really hollow in writing but consider me hugging to near-death right now.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

No right now even just text means a lot.

[dots.livejournal.com]

Oh, Aisu. I can't imagine how much you must be hurting right now ... I wish you the best. I wish I knew what else to say.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Hurts pretty fucking bad, yeah. Thank you for the thoughts - right now it's all I really need.

[sensitise.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. I am so sorry, Aisu.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

It's not your fault, but thank you so much anyways.

[pwnmastersaurus.livejournal.com]

I hate not knowing what to say in situations like this, but- I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine. D:

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Knowing that you care is all I need from people, so don't worry about the right words.

[powercorrupts.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. There aren't any words that can help, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm Bad Haro on AIM.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the offer. I might take you up on it or not, I don't even know at this point what to do hahaha.

[renegadecoffee.livejournal.com]

Oh Aisu! (HUGS SO HARD)

I'm here if you need or want anything. I am so sorry for your loss.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. *hugs tight*

[demamas.livejournal.com]

Oh no no no Aisu

I am so sorry

I wish I could help

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

knowing that you care means a lot

[ripedecay.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. I also wish I knew what else I could say.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the thoughts.

[katamanda.livejournal.com]

Oh God Aisu, I'm so sorry.

If there's anything that I can do... /hugs

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Just knowing that you care means enough. /hugs

[puella-nerdii.livejournal.com]

I know there are no words that can really make this better, but I am so sorry for your loss. *hugs*

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you for trying, at least.

[hastemarch.livejournal.com]

*snugs* Thoughts with you and your family, sweetie.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[case]

If you need to rant or talk to a stranger or something, I'm here ethgkjeh even if you don't really... know me ... etgkh

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

The offer helps a lot, even if we're not 100% the closest yet.

[kefanii.livejournal.com]

Nothing anybody can say, but words do add up a little, so here's me on the pile. I'm so fucking sorry, hon.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

The pile is helping more than I can say. Thank you.

[eliminate.livejournal.com]

I've only talked to you a couple times, and I only know you from RPD, but if you ever need someone to just listen to you, or something, I'm here, too akl;ejklgeg I hope you have people to talk to, at any rate.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

I have lots of people to talk to and more are showing up by the minute. Thank you. ♥

[databomb.livejournal.com]

Oh man. I'm so sorry, I really don't know what to say, but -- I'm sorry. This will probably sound kind of stupid, but I hope you'll be alright.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

I think I will be. thank you.

[ligtness.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.

This is superfluous, but just in case you forget the AIM conversation:

I'm always there for you.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

I couldn't ask for any more.

[kecleon.livejournal.com]

I only know you via RPD, but... oh god, I can't even start to understand the pain this must be causing you. ._. I hope you'll be okay.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

I think I'll be okay with time.

(Curious side of me wonders: did someone in RPD link this to everyone else?)

[optical-nerve.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry, sweetheart. My condolensces. I hope you'll be all right soon. She loved you and you'll have that with you always.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

That thought is a lot of what's keeping me stable.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

If you need anything from us, call. Aunt Kirsten is texting you as I write this.

[kshandra]

What he said, hon. Don't even bother looking at the clock - I'm still out of work, so I'm up till at least 0100, usually closer to 0200. Call my cell and I'll talk to you about whatever. Hell, if you want me to, I'll come down for a couple of days.

You've got the digits, you've got the emails. Say the word; we're here.

[technobubblegum.livejournal.com]

I've been there.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.

[aircrash.livejournal.com]

oh my god aisu -

i'm so so sorry.

please, call me if you need to talk, or text me if you want.

take care of yourself.

i love you.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

♥

[leinyan.livejournal.com]

I also only know of you through rpd. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

I hope you're gonna be okay.

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

I'll be okay with time.

Thank you.

[furious.livejournal.com]

sfdjgfs;klal;dfg :(

Aisu... *hugs* I know I'm like the worst person to ever talk about anything serious to but if you need someone to listen I'm dahngrest on AIM. ♥

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

The offer helps. Thank you.

[diplopod.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Aisu... I wish there was something I could say to make you feel even a little better. :|

I know we arn't really close or anything, but I'm here if you need someone to talk to, just like everyone else.

/hug

[madelineusher.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[massteria.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Aisu. I know we don't know each other well, but words can't describe how horrible I feel at this news. I'm so so sorry. Like everyone else, I wish I knew what to say. I've got the same AIM name as LJ, if you need anything at all. I was just thinking about you, wondering why you were so quiet, and then I read this. I'm sorry.

[massteria.livejournal.com]

I also wanted to say: I recently had a good friend die also, and my mind did the same thing -- drifted to such weird, inane things even when I was sitting there bawling. I don't know why. Maybe it is the brain trying to detach. Either way, it's not just you.