You're not going to believe a relative (and at your age, possibly not anyone else you know, either), but you are absolutely not made of fug. That outfit is something I can actually see myself wearing as day-to-day clothing (possibly without the cravat, but possibly with).

And I totally hear you about not being able to achieve the look I want on my face - I've tried to do sultry a few times and just ended up with pissed-off. :-P