kolkhozi: prussia of Axis Powers Hetalia, with his eyes covered by a hand coming from offscreen (presumably Russia's) (Default)
([personal profile] kolkhozi Mar. 3rd, 2009 11:21 pm)
Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I'm not going to try to catch up with the last page or so but thank you to everyone who offered their thoughts.

Right now I'm just feeling... very numb. It's hard to get her off the brain, but I'm trying to distract myself with RP and Sims and other fun things. Still, she keeps popping back up.

I've taken a week off school with teacher permission and will probably spend much of it passed out.

From: [identity profile] psi-yamaneko.livejournal.com

Taking a week off is a good idea, you should definitely go easy on yourself.

And remember, I'm always around, so if you catch me online and just want to talk, I'm there for you, hon D:

*sends love*
kshandra: Close-up of a single lit candle against a black background (Candle)

From: [personal profile] kshandra

Make sure your dad keeps us in the loop regarding services, if any - I'd like to come down, and if it's on the weekend, Doug wants to make the trip with me.

From: [identity profile] elleswonderland.livejournal.com

tl;dr because i didn't post on the other one?

I've had someone go on me suddenly. One day she was there, the next someone was telling me that she was gone. I hardly believed it, and I kept trying to get my mind off her. For some reason human beings have an obsession with death. What comes after it, how we can avoid it, why it happens, how it happens.

But here's the cold hard honest truth - distracting yourself isn't going to work. Yeah, you should go on with your life. I know after my friend died I just didn't know how I'd go on with life. I would look out the window and think "the world didn't look like this when she was alive". I still don't believe it now. I'm very angry at the man who is responsible for her not being here, and I'll never not be angry at him. But when I think about it, I know that he must have it harder. He didn't mean to kill those people that he did - it was an accident. He has to live with himself knowing he killed people, so I know he must feel bad too.

I guess what I'm saying is why try to distract yourself? Go on with life as it was, but the truth is still there. I guess I've kind of decided to accept reality after all this shit in my life? I definitely don't do it in a negative way, though. I actually don't see much in life seriously - I actually say "because life is serious business, right?" because I just... don't see a reason to make a big deal out of things. I don't know. Enjoy life while you can. Because as you and I know, it can end abruptly and I want to be happy while I can.

Just take the time you need to get over it. I know in the beginning, it's like all you can do is think about it. But eventually, you will go on with your life. For awhile after my friend died, I had dreams about her. They weren't scary per se, but waking up always felt a little... strange. I've never moved on, but do you expect anyone to?

I'm not a very empathetic person. I don't feel sad when someone else is sad, or happy when someone else is happy. But when I think of this, I think of how hard it hit me. The second I heard the news. You know?

But in the end, I hope you'll be okay. ♥ I know my mother is my best friend. My biggest fear is losing her. I am constantly super paranoid about her.

I saw you had posted, but I ended up deciding I'd check later. I'm sorry I did.

My tl;dr is basically... I understand. But my motto in life is... well... "live a fun, easy life". Let life roll off your shoulders. Don't die with regrets.

You have my love, my prayers, all this stuff. orz yeah I know I'm horrible I give my heart up to anyone and everyone. .o. But yeah. Have fun with Sims and stuff, but don't... try not to think about it, okay? ♥

From: [identity profile] madelineusher.livejournal.com

Re: tl;dr because i didn't post on the other one?

I don't know if it's so much "forcibly distract myself" as "don't force myself to think about it". But thank you for the advice.

From: [identity profile] renegadecoffee.livejournal.com

(hugs) Coming from someone who's had to face a sudden death, I can tell you that it's normal to feel numb. It's also alright to deal with the grief however you see fit, be it distraction, talking it all out, journaling, screaming and beating up pillows. (I don't suggest breaking valuables, but if a thrown plate or two will help, do it.)

I'm here.

From: [identity profile] ligtness.livejournal.com

I wish I had more to say, but...

Best wishes. ♥